it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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