Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
