i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
