There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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