This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
