What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
