I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
