Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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