i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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