last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
