I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
