Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
