yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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