last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
