i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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