____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
