watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
