Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
