ugly people sure do ruin things
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
