if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
