i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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