youre lurking in front of me
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
