I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
