Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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