just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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