Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize