my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize