she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
MIDGETS
????
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize