No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
