How'd it feel making her break her religion?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize