Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize