I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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