nut hugger
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize