I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
