College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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