chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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