Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
