I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
