You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
