Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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