I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
