A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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