He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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