no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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