Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
