Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
