How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize