i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
