I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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