so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
