Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
