You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
