apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
