Buhtt sex?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize