he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
