She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
