every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i came on her dog
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
