FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
